Alan Broob, O. H. P. C. A.
Alan Broob is a One Hundred Percent American who has always put America First second only to himself.
He may or may not look like the photograph to the left. This is because, in order to serve his leader he is willing to change his gender, skin color, ethnicity, religion and even age so as to check the appropriate boxes and speed confirmation.
Alan Broob comes from a long line of Americans who have contributed mightily to the advancement of political discourse.
For example, his very own daughter, Elizabeth (“Betty”) Broob suggested during the reign of Bush the Younger that there should be a medium by which the President and other Twits with scant command of the language could broadcast brief often nonsensical messages of the kind that made George II famous. This platform for Twits has, as we all know, come to be known as Twitter.
Betty Broob comes from a long line of innovators dating back to Alan Broob’s great-grandfather, Edwin, who was a glass blower who helped Philo Farnsworth create the first picture tubes for what we now know as Television. Although originally called, “Broob Tubes,” as television become more popular the public began calling them them “boob” once actresses like Jayne Mansfield and Sophia Loren appeared on the scene. Edwin decided it would be prudent to not make an issue of this error in nomenclature.
It took Alan to correct the record in a thoroughly researched article published by Popular Communications in their January, 1990, edition.
It is certainly your patriotic duty to help this 100% American service his country in whatever way he can. Write to the current President Pro Tem Du Jour and make it clear he has your 100% support and thereby proving your 100% Americanism by association.
Alan Broob 