Please hesitate to reach out with the contact information below. After you hesitate for a little bit please consider continuing to hesitate until the urge passes.
Alan Broob is more than happy to talk to members of the President’s staff or members of the non-Fake News. The rest of you should wait until Alan lands a spot in the administration and someone can get back to you at taxpayer expense.
Get in Touch
Before writing, are you:
- The President Pro Tem
- A member of the President’s staff
- A member of the Press Corpse
- A Nobody
If you are a #1 or #2 then when you write please include a selection of three dates and times when it might be convenient for Alan to contact the President and he will see if he can fit it in his schedule.
If you are a #3 then understand that Alan is not fond of investigative reporters or fact checking. If you are uninterested in those things too then contact Alan. He is willing to offer inside exclusive scoops to media that wants to report on the various stages of his career or the prior applications for positions in the Trump Administration as the are declassified.
If you are a #4 then please accept Alan’s apology. Due to his busy schedule he will be unable to respond to you personally. However, he will forward your contact information to whatever political party seems to hold the most promise for the advancement of Alan’s career and you can expect them to hound you with personalized emails, text messages and phone calls not for your support, your vote, and – most importantly – your money.
Alan Broob 